FEAR - Undoing - Summary of Priya’s Kundalini Life Class

11/7/18

• What is AGENCY & How much do you have?
• Knowing where you stand; knowing you have a Say in what Happens to you; knowing you have some ability to shape your life; knowing what your Attaching to and Why? 
• What we hold on to; how we see; how we feel = Consciousness Experience 
• Events meant to be Experienced by Soul, by the Soul’s contract/destiny (“lessons” on Soul’s agenda to be experienced on Eath School). Soul Not impacted by Events. Ego is, but Soul remains untouched and pristine. Soul doesn’t care about right or wrong- Unattached. Surrendered state with no preference. 
• But sometimes the Body stores the Event / Energy. 
• Ego job is to Protect us from danger. Only wants “good” experiences. Tries to Protect from whole slew of “threats” like social anxiety, criticism, feelings, etc. that are Far from Saber-tooth tigers and puts us in a small comfort zone / boundaries of preferences and everything upsets us. Ego tells us to numb out with distractions to take us away from appropriately processing these Events / feelings and allowing the Energy to Move through instead of getting stuck and causing “DIS-ease.”
• Attachment is an extension of Self. When we attach to something we see it as a piece of us and protect it as such. 
• When we Attach or have a Preference, we LOSE OUR AGENCY. Whatever own us owns our Agency. 
• FEAR - Ego thinks Everything is unsafe / over-reacts because it can’t tell difference between an actual Saber toothed tiger (fear of death) and Road Rage in Traffic or a “what will people think of me” panic attack (fear of not belonging, rejection) or party planning worry. Modern day stress amounts to constant berrage of stress hormones, cortisol, and the Ego in constant high alert protection mode leading to many of modern day diseases. Fears are also registered internally and passed on through generations. War and trauma exist in our DNA that allows the Ego to continue to tap into this negative well of boundaries even if no longer rational.
• FREEDOM is opposite of Fear of Death
• INTROSPECTION- Agency begins with QUESTIONING the Ego. Awareness of subtle senses and control there of. Ego won’t like questions- like a mafia boss / bodyguard. Sick feeling, Ego will use Shame as a weapon!! 
• Because of our Fear of Rejection, which Attachments do we latch on to? Social setting: party, can’t sit without numbing with Alcohol and/or Food. ANY feelings rising cause us to run for TV, alcohol, food, video games, news, any intellectual distraction, shopping, clinging/neediness, or any other Unconscious response. 
• ASK EGO: WHAT/WHY?? Is it true?? What would happen if  (opposite of Ego preference) and I stayed in my own feelings? 
• Our IDENTITY is built up based on Ego’s preferences and protection. MASKS.  Make us feel Alone because we are so FAR from HOME (Soul). 
• TAKE BACK OUR AGENCY by QUESTIONING the EGO (edges God out according to Wayne Dyer). 
• First part of brain to develop is the Reptilian brain including functions for Sleep, eating, drink, excretion, Exactly what a NEWBORN baby can do. Subsequent layers developed Evolutionaryily the same as Infants’ development. Prefrontal cortex is last and finalized by about 25 years old. 
• Note issues with SLEEP point to Ego feeling endangered and keeping watch. 
• Talk to your mind - who is coming to get you? Is this Real or FAKE news. Release Fake news. “You are safe, you are ok, no Fear.” Repeating Mantra. 
• Be AWARE OF THOUGHTS - UNATTACHED 
• When Ego finally lets go, we feel exposed/vulnerable. Mourning/grief - empty - feel missing Ego (but before ego let’s go, doubles down, doesn’t like being questioned) 
• Letting go of Ego is like having to go through the Beast in the Cave. But must to gain FREEDOM & AGENCY. 
• Need strong nervous system to process these changes and Yoga helps build it 

Part 1: Michael Pollan's Change Your Mind Examines Science and Mysticism

I have been discovering a wealth of deep, thought-provoking material through Charles Eisenstein. I was about to download and start listening to his book The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible, when I saw this book as something that people also bought and someone recently mentioned as "life changing," and so this new adventure began. And what a fun adventure it is so far as I'm about a third of the way through it. These are notes on just two areas of the book that have peaked my interest so far! I intend to continue to share all the exciting tidbits since it is a rather large undertaking. :-)

Many or most have us have never thought twice about psychedelics. They have a horrible, scary history, demonized by the government when the LSD-inspired "hippies" rebelled against the Vietnam War and preached "love not war." Publicizing some bad trips was just the fuel the government needed to put the lid back on Pandora's box for decades when they listed it as a "Schedule 1 drug" with "no medical benefits and strong potential for addiction." Interestingly, this wasn't the first time Authorities were threatened by and attempted to stomp out the power of psychedelics. This has happened repeatedly over the last 5,000 years including the Catholic Church and Spanish governments performed inquisitions and suppression of their use within native Central American religious ceremonies, so they went underground until brought back to light in the 1950's.  Now, with the successful campaign of "medical marijuana" back to the mainstream, the door for psychedelics is cracking open. We are starting to see mainstream news articles such as helping Vets overcome PTSD via therapy with as little as one session with MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly). Work on bringing psychedelics back to the mainstream never really stopped. We learn that these compounds are actually NOT addictive, but rather can cure additions, and have a host of medical benefits, not the least of which is medicine for our Souls!

"Mysticism is the antidote to Fundamentalism" is one of many thought-provoking quotes in this comprehensive compilation of investigative journalism. In the 13.5 hour Audible edition, Michael is revealing the natural, cultural, research, and political history of psychedelics from so many relevant angles and explaining their stories from so many different perspectives and lens we really get a dimensional understanding. The stories are fascinating. The public has a very limited understanding of the quick rise and fall of the psychedelics in American culture. This book sheds light on the breadth and depth of a history that goes back to the dawn of man. Michael interviews so many key players to reveal the behind-the-scenes events and milestones that it would have dizzying to try to piece this clear of a picture together on our own through the internet. He has done a huge public service.

• Psilocybin Research on "Healthy Normals" 
• Incredible results as SEVENTY PERCENT of research participants report "one of/most MEANINGFUL experiences of their lives. And this meaningfulness does not diminish over time!!!  They refer to the John Hopkins lab as a "transformation factory!"
• Looking back over 5,000 of human societal development, some postulate that the beginning of most world religions started with insight from a psychedelic experience. Many cultures’ rituals used psychedelics to give lay people direct contact with God, which is why later governments like Spain and the Catholic Church  would use inquisitions in Central (and South?) America to stifle this practice from threatening their authority (using priests as middle man with God). 
• Stoned Ape Theory - McKenna's hypothesis concerning the influence of psylocibin mushrooms on human evolution. He believed that psilocybin mushrooms were the "evolutionary catalyst" from which language, projective imagination, the arts, religion, philosophy, science, and all of human culture sprang. 
• Most big human break-throughs are proposed as because the altered state of consciousness appears to be tapping into universal consciousness that gives us expanded view that very few would have access to via meditation. We can thank the LSD evangelism of this one "Johnny Appleseed" figure for the massive burst of CREATIVITY and development of early computers and circuit boards. One inventor had thought of mouse and interactive graphics and Virtual a Reality etc in the 60's. Apparently Steve Jobs said that Bill Gates didn’t do enough acid! MICRO-dosing FRIDAYS is still “a thing” at some Silicon Valley companies today!!!
• This research lays the ground work for what is precedent-setting (?) methodology of using ESTABLISHED SCIENTIFIC methodology to glimpse MYSTICAL experiences. This pushes the science of mind research on consciousness to an uncomfortable place to have to consider consciousness as likely Outside the Mind, making the mind simply a WiFi/TV/Radio-like receiver. 
• We are examining are these experiences REAL vs. Drug induced hallucinations, and the evidence points to REAL because of the long-term staying power. One argument made that effects are similar to toxicity of kidney/liver, are quickly doused by the fact that people experiencing this toxicity don't report amazing transformations of personality (also evaluated and measured in the research). 
• The experiences of participants are very much aligned with the concepts in the Grief book by Francis Weller discussed recently where the human experience in modern culture is one of Amnesia and Anesthesia. We are in a sleeping state, forgetting our true souls, but we know we are in pain because of what we can't remember (our primary satisfactions come from soul-based satisfaction), so we numb ourselves via constant distractions (TV, news, sports, drugs, alcohol, drama, shopping, etc. etc. = secondary satisfactions) that prove to be hollow and meaningless and drive us into unprecedented rates of Depression, Suicide, Anxiety, mass shootings, loneliness, addiction, culture wars, feeling of mass separation, etc. etc. 
• Definition of mystical experiences: http://www.bodysoulandspirit.net/mystical_experiences/learn/experts_define/james.shtml

• As an added bonus, his interview conducted over an actual "mushroom hunting" weekend with Paul Stamets leaves the reader with a new profound appreciation for the fascinating world of fungi. Mr. Stamets is a world-renown expert in mushrooms and his passion is exceptional, to the point he literally feels he is actually connected to their massive mycelial network (mushrooms version of the world wide web). Even more importantly, he has applied his knowledge of work to literally help save the planet with some absolutely ingenious applications of fungi including bioremediation of oil spills and a fungi pesticide for ants that literally has spores exploding from the ants brains (yikes!??!!). He goes so far to say that fungi has an intelligence of their own! 
• Paul Stamets' Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/paul_stamets_on_6_ways_mushrooms_can_save_the_world?language=en 
• Paul Stamets' Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Paul-Stamets/e/B001JS0KV6 
• The fungal communication network is supported by new research and is also discussed in this calming and fascinating book that has given me a new appreciation for trees and forests: The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate—Discoveries from A Secret World

Amazon Book Summary

The number one New York Times best seller

A brilliant and brave investigation by Michael Pollan, author of five New York Times best sellers, into the medical and scientific revolution taking place around psychedelic drugs - and the spellbinding story of his own life-changing psychedelic experiences

When Michael Pollan set out to research how LSD and psilocybin (the active ingredient in magic mushrooms) are being used to provide relief to people suffering from difficult-to-treat conditions such as depression, addiction, and anxiety, he did not intend to write what is undoubtedly his most personal book. But upon discovering how these remarkable substances are improving the lives not only of the mentally ill but also of healthy people coming to grips with the challenges of everyday life, he decided to explore the landscape of the mind in the first person as well as the third. Thus began a singular adventure into the experience of various altered states of consciousness, along with a dive deep into both the latest brain science and the thriving underground community of psychedelic therapists. Pollan sifts the historical record to separate the truth about these mysterious drugs from the myths that have surrounded them since the 1960s, when a handful of psychedelic evangelists inadvertently catalyzed a powerful backlash against what was then a promising field of research.

A unique and elegant blend of science, memoir, travel writing, history, and medicine, How to Change Your Mind is a triumph of participatory journalism. By turns dazzling and edifying, it is the gripping account of a journey to an exciting and unexpected new frontier in our understanding of the mind, the self, and our place in the world. The true subject of Pollan's "mental travelogue" is not just psychedelic drugs but also the eternal puzzle of human consciousness and how, in a world that offers us both struggle and beauty, we can do our best to be fully present and find meaning in our lives.

Grief, Gratitude, and Happiness

Inspired by:
The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller
Shawn Achor, Secrets of Happy People - SuperSoul Conversations podcast
A New and Ancient Story: the Podcast, Charles Eisenstein

In listening to Charles' podcast, Episode 4 with Francis Weller really struck a nerve, and I wanted to hear more, so I listed to his book. Here are some of the key points:

• Francis relays the story of our human history. For a vast majority of our evolution, humans lived in villages. These villages served a critical role in our mental health through social support. Francis experienced the heart-opening benefits of village life first hand in Africa. He saw everyone at dusk come out to the commons and share about their day, and all the nursing children could nurse from any mother. They were a tight community.
• Village life across the world includes rituals to process all the important facets and milestones in life. Death and grieving are not exception. Because everyone knew one another, the entire village would grieve. The rituals around grief are key to processing this emotion fully so the energy of the "e-motion" can move through us and not fester as a shadow, later to emerge in an unhealthy way.
• We don't just grieve over the death of our loved ones. We grieve for the environment, animals, climate change, extinctions, divorces, the demise of other cultures, poverty, human suffering, unfulfilled dreams, unborn children, politics, child abductions, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and one and before we realize it, it becomes very clear that YES, we do need a way to process all of this!!  How has this not occurred to us before!!?? Grief is not just sadness, it also surfaces as Anger, Shame, Invulnerability, and Coldness/disconnection. This grief is clogging our energy channels, weighing us down (grief and gravity have the same linguistic roots), and making us numb to the actual joy in life! As it turns out, when we recognize and attend to our grief, and allow ourselves to process our grief through a grief ritual, we feel lighter and happier. We must find the time to carve out space for this processing in our lives and then allow for periodic maintenance. His reference section has a few suggested rituals to try. 
• It becomes evident that soooooo much of our "modern" society leaves us at a significant disadvantage without our village. And this grief for our village is reflected by skyrocketing suicide and addiction rates. He talks about needing to have Amnesia and Anesthesia to survive today. That alone is a huge heartbreak to grieve. Anesthesia includes not just drugs and alcohol, but also TV, eating, shopping, and any other distraction to entertain us vs. living a full life. He explains "primary satisfaction" that came from life in the village and our social interactions perhaps like our core family and friends today. However, most of our time today is filled with "secondary satisfaction" that are not sustaining happiness - they are the short-term distractions listed above plus "earning a living" versus seeing our true purpose fulfilled as an integral part of the village. It's as though we have turned over our soul for money. And on the flip side it explains why the advice to find your passion and find a way to "make money doing it" would be a more sustainable way to live life. Humans need social connection and to see that their labor is of value and contributing to society as a whole.  
• Francis says that Grief and Gratitude go hand in hand, are the two sides of the same coin, are the keys to balance in life. I happened on the Oprah podcast with Shawn Achor this morning and listened closely to see if grief was mentioned. Although it was not, gratitude is key in both philosophies. Shawn, who developed and teaches Harvard's most popular class "Happiness,"  mentioned these few steps, which sounds like "tips and tricks," but are really important and have been measured scientifically to significantly increase happiness in as little as 21 days: 
• Two minutes per day list of NEW things you are grateful for
• Two minute per day, type an email to someone thanking them (even better call or in person)
• Two minutes visualize a meaningful event from the day. Focus, feel, gratitude. 
• Meditation and exercise (even for minimum periods of time) are effective at improving happiness. Mindful breathing for 2 min., exercise for 15 min. 
• He also mentions: 
• Happiness is a choice, even people who have been pessimists for 8 decades, can do these things and move to low-grade optimists. 
• Happiness is contagious 
• Happiness doesn't come as a result of success, success is more likely when we are happy first. Our society needs to redefine what we consider happiness to be. "Joy is what we feel when we are striving to fulfill our full potential."
• Francis' book has a resource section where he offers a few simple ideas for doing our own grief rituals. He mentions the importance of silencing the mind, solo reflection, but conversely the importance of being able to share our experiences, and deep listening without offering advice to validate the experiences of others. His rituals include using the earth (stones, water, land) to ground us and process our feelings. Drumming is also a common element. Interesting that when people come together to share in a deeply personal and moving ceremony such as this, they form deep bonds. Charles referenced on the podcast that he cannot do more than a few retreats a year because every time they disband, it feels like a break up. Francis mentions Pema Chodron and Buddha a few times.  
• Francis' book is poetic. Even though I summarize it here, it's still a wonderfully deep and thoughtful work of art to be experienced. I may even re-listen to it again just so it can all seek in deeper and I can add more here. As I listened to it, even though I was not actually doing any of the work, I was feeling the gravity of the process, thinking of some of my own grief, beginning to scratch the surface of that grief, and already feeling a little lighter. I even turned away from several of my normal numbing practices on Saturday night to listen more. 
• His book has inspired me 1) obviously to document the key points so I can share it, 2) figure out how to apply to myself as well as Hunter as I believe much of the anger he experiences is born from unprocessed grief including the loss of his life as he knew it when his brother was born, especially because I was so stressed, and he must have felt blamed and shamed for so much... and 3) Get my Soul Sistas together in a circle to begin to share and process some of grief. Try out a couple of the grieving rituals. Francis emphasizes that Community/Village is key. We are so blessed to have a group already forming. He also reiterates that there is a maintenance component, so periodic rejuvenation through this process is key. I've looked into his offerings, but the upcoming ones are sold out (fast) and only have capacity for about 35 people, so it could be many of the same people returning again and again. One idea that I had was to do some of the ceremony at the beach. It could also work on a hike. 

The Magic of a Full Frontal Cortex - taking interest outside ourself and valuing relationships

I believe that with the completion of the development of the frontal cortex, a whole new world opens up outside ourselves.

Technically the frontal cortex is developed around 25 years of age, hence why rental car and insurance companies love that age, but I've noticed it takes a few extra years to really start to see outside ourselves in a more profound way. In my case, this is also paired with preparing to start having children. I felt an innate need to mentally and emotionally get my own house in order before I could bring another soul into the world. This is the point at which I started trying to make peace with my parents and thanking the people that had helped me during my formative years.